wasted...

just last week, the only thing in my mind was to party, be wild, get drunk and be wasted so i can forget what happened during the last few weeks. i got my wish. ha! little did i know that it was not the answer to my problem. little did i know that it would only make me feel more miserable (and shameful!) afterwards. little did i know that it would only make things worse. but i still am lucky to be surrounded by real friends who wouldn't leave me and carry me home after that embarassing moment of "wastedness". after my mind went blank for 3 to 5 seconds. it seemed such a short time but the after effects were not. i slept for 12 hours after that. something i havent done for a very long time. but then i also lost precious time to be with my family, clean my room and do my other responsibilities at home. aside from not being able to finish the work i took home and not being able to study for my subjects (which i need to do terribly).

i guess i've already graduated from the partying, from the non-stop smoking, from the flirting with nice-looking men (im sure most of them were gays), from drinking 5 to 8 kinds of drink in one nyt and from staying so late (or rather early the following morning). am i too old for such? or i have a different preference now of what's fun and what's not? whatever it is, i'm done. and for my three friends who were there during that incident, pls remind me next time to stay away from such conditions...