stress...

it's been a while since i last posted and i miss blogging. even if i'm the only person here, i feel like this is my online journal. a world of my own.

i should have used STRESS as the title for this blog. i can't emphasize the word enough to define how stressed i am from everything that has been happening in my life. as in EVERYTHING. i wanted to scream on top of my lungs. i wanted to cry until i have no more tears to cry. but i can't do any of that. how i wish i could make myself cry but no hard i try, it is still too difficult for me to cry.

i love a person who doesn't love me back, who wouldn't speak to me and wouldn't allow me to love him. i wanted so much to be with this person but he wouldn't let me.

i am in a job torn by being thankful that im in my dream employer but in a job which stresses the hell out of me.

i am in a fmaily with too many problems and too few solutions. may my helplessness never turn to hoplessness any time soon.

i am studying for a masters degree which i'm not sure how it would contribute to the betterment of my current state. i am tiring myself for something i already lost interest to.

i am seeing my friends, successful and happy. as much as i am happy for them, cant help but ask myself why can't i have what they have?

but no... i will not let these stressors put me down. they will not stop from living my life the way i want. i love my God and He has never forsaken me. He never let go of my hand. He's always there to pull me up just when i'm letting myself sink to the bottom of my depressions. my God has provided me more than enough to be thankful and enjoy life.

my God will not leave me and neither do I. so to all my stressors, my faith will knock all of you out.